Understand Your Love Language
14Aug 2018

Everyone communicates love in different ways, so understanding each other’s specific love language may be beneficial to your relationship. According to Gary Chapman, Ph.D., author of “The Five Love Languages,” once you and your partner have identified with one of the five languages, you both will feel most loved when that language is expressed and gain the satisfaction of making each other happy.

Before continuing into the descriptions of each love language, we recommend that you take the free online test to determine which love language you are.

Click here to take the test now, or scroll to the bottom of this article for a shorter 60-second quiz.

Words of Affirmation

Words speak louder than actions if you receive love through words of affirmation. You feel most loved when your partner verbally expresses the reasons behind his or her love for you and unsolicited compliments replay in your head all day. Conversely, negative words or insults can damage your spirit and they are not easily forgotten.

To communicate this love language, do not let days go by without saying, “I love you” and verbally acknowledge anything that makes you happy to be with your partner.

If your partner’s love language is Words of Affirmation you could:

1. Set a goal to give your partner a different compliment each day for a month.
“You did a great job on this meal.”
“You really look nice in that outfit.”
“I really appreciate your washing the car.”

2. Write a love letter, a love paragraph, or a love sentence to your partner, and give it quietly or without fanfare.

3. Compliment your partner in the presence of his parents or friends. You will get double credit. Your spouse will feel loved and the parents will feel lucky to have such a great son-in-law or daughter-in-law.

4. Look for your partner’s strengths and tell how much you appreciate those strengths. Chances are she will work hard to live up to her reputation.

5. Tell your children how great their mother or father is. Do this both behind your partner’s back and in their presence.

6. Choose a card that expresses how you feel. Underline special words and add a few of your own at the end.


Quality Time

Full and undivided attention makes you feel most loved if quality time is your love language. Spending time with your partner can mean staying in and watching movies or having good conversations over a gourmet dinner. When your partner makes time for you, he or she is communicating that you are more important than any other activity.

To communicate this language, do not cancel plans or postpone dates as these actions are hurtful and may cause your partner to question your love.

If your partner’s love language is Quality Time you could:

1. Ask your partner for a list of five activities that he would enjoy doing with you. Make plans to do one of them each month for the next five months.

2. Make time every day to share with each other some of the events of the day.

3. Plan a weekend getaway just for the two of you sometime within the next few months. Focus on relaxing together doing what one or both of you enjoy.

4. Take a walk together through the old neighborhood where one of you grew up. Ask questions about your partner’s childhood.

5. Think of an activity your partner enjoys, but which brings little pleasure to you: football, symphony etc. Tell your partner that you are trying to broaden your horizons and would like join her in this activity sometime this month. Set a date and give it your best effort. Ask questions about the activity at break times.

6. Camp out by the fireplace. Spread your blankets and pillows on the floor. Pretend the TV is broken and talk like you used to when you were dating.


Receiving Gifts

This love language is more about thoughtfulness and the remembrance of important dates than it is about materialism. The entire process behind buying the gift makes you feel loved. The fact that your partner took time to drive to the store, pondered the perfect purchase and spent money to make you happy are things that make you feel most loved. Gifts also can come in the form of gestures such as love notes or phone calls to simply say, “How was your day?”

To communicate this language, give a thoughtful gift on each anniversary, holiday and birthday.

If your partner’s love language is Receiving Gifts you could:

1. Give your partner a gift every day for one week. It need not be a special week, just any week. It will become “The Week That Was!”

2. Discover the value of “handmade originals.”

3. Keep a “Gift Idea Notebook”. Every time you hear your partner say “I really like that,” write it down. Listen carefully and you will get quite a list.

4. If you really don’t have a clue as to how to select a gift for your partner, ask a friend or family member who knows them well.

5. Give a living gift. Purchase and plant a tree or flowering shrub in honor of your partner.


Acts of Service

Vacuuming, washing the dishes or performing maintenance on your vehicle are all romantic gestures if your love language is acts of service. You feel most loved when your partner recognizes your stress and helps to lighten your load. To communicate this language, pitch in without being condescending or dominant and take initiative to help when your see that your partner is stressed. Laziness or adding to the workload expresses your lack of concern and may be destructive to your relationship.

If your partner’s love language is Acts of Service you could:

1. Make a list of all the requests your partner has made of you over the last few weeks. Select one of these each week and do it as an expression of love.

2. Cut out some heart-shaped note cards and print the following:
“Today I will show my love for you by …”
Complete the sentence with one of the following: mowing the lawn, vacuuming the floor, washing dishes, taking the dog for a walk etc.

3. If you have more money than time, hire someone to do the acts of service that you know your partner would like for you to do. If you take the responsibility for getting it done, you will be speaking love even when you are away.

4. Ask your partner to tell you the daily acts of service that would really speak love to him or her. These might include such things as putting your dirty clothes in the hamper, hanging up your clothes at night, preparing a meal, and washing the dishes. “Little things” really do mean a lot.

5. Periodically ask your partner, “If I could do one special act of service this week, what would you request?” If possible, do it and watch your partner’s love tank fill up!

Physical Touch

Physical touch does not always have to be communicated through sex. Holding hands, thoughtful touches on the arm and hugs are all ways to communicate love to your partner. Touching is a nonverbal communication style that can express love, concern, adoration and care. To communicate through touch, discover how your partner likes to be touched and act on it. Avoid neglect or physical abuse as these actions are often unforgivable.

If your partner’s love language is Physical Touch you could:

1. Hold hands as you walk.

2. While eating together, let your knee or foot drift over and touch your partner.

3. While your partner is seated, walk up behind them and initiate a shoulder massage.

4. When family or friends are visiting, touch your partner in their presence. A hug, running your hand along his or her arm, or simply placing a hand on their shoulder can earn double emotional points. It says, “Even with all these people in our home, I still see you.”

5. Walk up to your partner and say, “Have I told you lately that I love you?” Take her in your arms and hug her while you rub her back and continue. “You are the greatest!” (Resist the temptation to rush to the bedroom.) Untangle yourself and move on to the next thing.

The 60-Second Quiz

For each pair of following statements, circle the one that fits you best within your relationship. If you are not currently in a relationship, try to imagine how you would like to be treated if you were. Or think about how you like to be treated by family members and close friends.

1. I like to receive encouraging or affirming notes A
I like to be hugged E

2. I like to spend one-to-one time with close friends B
I feel loved when someone gives me practical help D

3. I like it when people give me gifts C
I like leisurely visits with friends and loved ones B

4. I feel loved when people do things to help me D
I feel loved when people give me a reassuring hand shake or hug E

5. I feel loved when someone I love or admire puts their arm around me E
I feel loved when I receive a gift from someone I admire or love C

6. I like to go places with friends or loved ones B
I like to high-five or slap around with friends who are special to me E

7. Visible symbols of love (such as gifts) are important to me C
I feel loved when people affirm me A

8. I like to sit close to people I enjoy being around E
I like it when people tell me I’m attractive/handsome A

9. I like to spend time with friends and loved ones B
I like to receive little gifts from friends and loved ones C

10. Words of acceptance are important to me A
I know someone loves me when he or she helps me D

11. I like being together and doing things with friends & loved ones B
I like it when kind words are spoken to me A

12. What someone does affects me far more than what they say D
Hugs make me feel connected and valued E

13. I value praise and try to avoid criticism A
Several small gifts mean more to me than one large gift C

14. I feel close to someone when we are talking or doing something together B
I feel closer to friends & loved ones when we wrestle, hug or shake hands E

15. I like for people to complement my achievements A
I know people love me when they do things for me they don‟t enjoy doing D

16. I like for people to cross the street to shake hands or hug when they see me E
I like when people listen to me & show genuine interest in what I‟m saying B

17. I feel loved when friends and loved ones help me with jobs or projects D
I really enjoy receiving gifts from friends and loved ones C

18. I like for people to complement my appearance A
I feel loved when people take time to understand my feelings B

19. I feel secure when a special person is physically close to me E
Acts of service make me feel loved D

20. I appreciate the many things that special people do for me D
I like to receive gifts that special people make for me C

21. I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone gives me undivided attention B
I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone does some act to serve me D

22. I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with a gift C
I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday with meaningful words A

23. I know a person is thinking of me when they give me a gift C
I feel loved when a person helps me with my chores or tasks D

24. I appreciate it when someone listens patiently and doesn’t interrupt me B
I appreciate it when someone remembers special days with a gift C

25. I like knowing loved ones are concern enough to help with my daily tasks D
I enjoy extended trips with someone who is special to me B

26. I don’t mind the “kiss-hello‟ with friends I am close to E
Receiving a gift given for no special reason excites me C

27. I like to be told that I am appreciated A
I like for a person to look at me when they are talking B

28. Gifts from a friend or loved one are always special to me C
I feel good when a friend or loved one hugs or touches me E

29. I feel loved when a person enthusiastically does some task I have requested D
I feel loved when I am told how much I am appreciated A

30. I need physical contact with people everyday E
I need words of encouragement and affirmation everyday A

Now go through your quiz again and count how many “A, B, C, D and Es” you circled and place the number in below.


A: ________ B: ________ C: ________ D: ________ E: ________

Which letter has your highest score? That is your primary love language:

•A = Words of Affirmation

•B = Quality Time

•C = Receiving Gifts

•D = Acts of Service

•E = Physical Touch

5 Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Kids Do
14Aug 2018

In an age of overwhelming concern over child safety, Gever Tulley is breaking all the rules.

Nowadays, parents believe their child is so vulnerable — to injury, to teasing, to disease and disappointment — that they hover like a helicopter over their children, ready to swoop in if anything remotely “bad” happens.

Tulley, founder of San Francisco’s Tinkering School, finds this approach to interacting with our children to be disempowering, to say the least.

And in his recent TED Talk, he spells out 5 dangerous things you should actually encourage your kids to do.

Because, as we’re about to find out — a little danger is good for both kids and grownups. More…

Protected: Category 13 Movie
02Aug 2018
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7 Secrets for Staying in Love (MP3)
10Jul 2018
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“Love is the tough, essential answer to the riddle of human existence, of human wholeness and happiness. To live is to love.”
-John Powell

Discover seven profound secrets for staying in love in this audio episode, based on John Powell’s book “The Secret of Staying in Love,” presented by Jessi Kohlhagen.

Click here to download the audio (right click player and “Save As”) More…

Lifebook’s Favorite Affirmations!
05Jul 2018

By Jon and Missy Butcher

Affirmations are one of the simplest, most powerful tools you can use to improve the quality of your life instantaneously.

They’ve worked miracles for Missy and I over the years, and they do the same for millions of positive thinkers all over the globe.

This week we’re here to share our love of affirmations, as we feature The Ultimate Lifebook Affirmations Post!

There are some of Lifebook’s all-time most popular Affirmations!

Because whether we realize it or not, we are already using affirmations in every moment. With every word we speak and thought we think, we are either resisting or affirming our lives.

It’s time to think the thoughts, speak the words, and feel the feelings that use our energy for the creation of more love, prosperity, wellness, joy and abundance!

We hope you enjoy :)

-Jon and Missy Butcher

Click here for 33 Powerful Morning Affirmations

Click here for 55 Affirmations to Love & Heal Your Body

Click here for 67 Affirmations to Awaken Your Personal Power

Click here for 82 Affirmations for Lasting Love and Romance

How to Start Homeschooling: The Ultimate Step-by-Step Guide
01Jul 2018
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Are you dreaming about homeschooling your child, but not sure where to begin?

You may be wondering: How do I take my child out of school? What will I teach? How will I balance my time/energy between schooling, homemaking, working, etc? What about curriculum? What about falling behind? What about friends? What will homeschool really look like for me?


It can be overwhelming thinking of all the details that go into beginning the homeschool journey.

But rest assured…

There are millions of families all over the world who are successfully and joyfully homeschooling, and you can do it too!

Here are 11 of the most important things you should know:

  1. Clarify your purpose / vision
  2. Learn the legalities
  3. Practice de-schooling
  4. Set your homeschool goals
  5. Explore homeschooling methods
  6. Observe your child’s learning style
  7. Tap into your local homeschool community
  8. Curate your homeschool inspiration
  9. Get really, really comfortable with adjusting course
  10. Remember you are enough
  11. Don’t overthink it, just dive in!

Let’s take a deeper look…

1. Clarify Your Purpose & Vision

There are so many reasons to homeschool — every homeschool family is unique and has their own reasons. Getting clear on your purpose for homeschooling is the first and most important step, which will serve as the foundation for the rest of your homeschool journey.

So ask yourself… Do you want to homeschool to:

Honor your values, which may not align with the current system
Align your personal and family values with your day-to-day lifestyle
Redefine your family’s paradigm of “success”
Provide a real-life education which takes ALL areas of life into account
Provide your child with more focused, one-on-one attention
Create more flexibility, freedom, adventure and opportunity
Slow down and enjoy life more

These are just some examples of reasons you may be inspired to homeschool. What are yours?

Once you get clear on your purpose, take some time to write down your homeschool vision. Don’t overthink this, just close your eyes and describe how you see your homeschool in your mind. Do you picture learning in a designated homeschool “classroom” or sprawled out across the living room floor? Do you imagine homeschool field trips? Rainy day read-alouds? Games? Workbooks or printouts? Online classes? Community classes? Exploring nature? Will you learn together as a family, or independently? Will you travel? Will you have regularly scheduled weekly outings? Where will you keep the countless homeschool supplies so they are accessible to your curious and learning children?

As with your life vision, your homeschool vision will inevitably change over time. But clarifying it in the beginning can really help capture the essence of what you are trying to accomplish, and guide your way as you get started.

Getting clear on your purpose and vision can help you navigate the unavoidable ebbs and flows of your homeschool journey with a little more grace, confidence and commitment.

2. Learn the Legalities

Just as public school curriculum varies from state to state, so too do the rules/laws about homeschooling. Though all states allow parents to educate their children at home, some states (like California) require parents to register as private schools, while others (like Pennsylvania) mandate that homeschooled children take standardized tests as they reach the third, fifth and eighth grades.

If you live in the United States, HSLDA is the best place to learn about your state’s laws and requirements.

Regardless of the requirements, if your child is currently in school you may want to submit a withdrawal letter, to notify them of your intent to homeschool and withdraw your child. You can find sample letters / materials on the website listed above for any of the resources you may need.

3. Practice De-Schooling

Before you dive right into your own structured education model, you may want to allow your family to take some time to adjust and recalibrate. Remember, homeschool allows for the freedom of taking time off, and even unstructured free time can be highly educational (some studies show it’s the most educational environment of all!). Taking a break may provide a refreshing reset for your child, and a tangible transition from one chapter into another.

This also provides a great opportunity for you to become more familiar with your family’s natural rhythms, which is extremely helpful when you’re ready to start planning your weekly and daily homeschool schedule. For instance, if you notice that Mondays tend to be full of energy and excitement for the week, but by Friday everyone is burned out and ready for the weekend, you can build your schooling around a 4 day week. Or perhaps you notice that your family takes longer to get in a groove in the early morning, so you can allow for a more relaxed, connected breakfast time, followed by late morning or early afternoon schooling.

If you’re worried about your child “falling behind” or not getting their academic needs met, just remember that research shows that children are extremely good at (and therefore do not need to be taught) the main behaviors they will need as adults, such as creativity, imagination, alertness, curiosity, thoughtfulness, responsibility and judgment. What children lack is experience, which homeschool can provide in leaps and bounds.

4. Set Your Homeschool Goals

As a homeschool parent, you get to decide what and how your children will learn, and the sky is the limit! In the next step we’ll explore more detailed examples of methods and curriculums, but before you go diving into that, you should create your very own personal list of things you would like to teach your child (or as is often the case, learn with your child!).

For general subjects, your list will probably include Math, Science, History, Language Arts, Art and Geography. But beyond these, be sure to include any special or elective subjects / classes that might interest you and your children, such as sports, language, music, drama, computer programming, nature studies, etc.

Even more important than choosing the subjects themselves is setting the goals for your child, and your homeschool experience. What are you ultimately seeking to achieve with homeschool (academically or otherwise)? How will you define a “good” homeschool day? What is the end game?

5. Explore Homeschooling Methods

With each parent comes a different parenting style, and the same is true for homeschooling. There are countless philosophies, methods and approaches to home education. Here’s a brief overview of some of the most common methods (compliments of sheknows.com):

Traditional method — Your homeschool would be set up just like a public school with a complete curriculum and traditional grading system. It’s just like a traditional school, but at home.

Classical education method — The basis of this Christian homeschooling method is based on author Dorothy Sayers’ well-known essay, The Lost Tools of Learning. The Well-Trained Mind is a great resource for exploring this method.

Charlotte Mason method — British educator Charlotte Mason developed a three-pronged education approach centered around atmosphere (home environment), discipline (good habits) and life (teaching living thoughts and ideas). This is one of the more popular homeschooling methods.

Montessori method — You’ve probably heard about Montessori preschool, and the same concepts from Dr. Maria Montessori translate into homeschooling, too. The Montessori method is based on the idea that learning is a natural, self-directed process.

Eclectic method — An eclectic homeschooling family takes bits and pieces from a variety of different methods to form their own homeschooling philosophy.

Unschooling — In recent years, unschooling (child-led learning) has become a more common approach to homeschooling.

These home-educational styles are only the tip of the iceberg. You can also take a look at other homeschooling methods, including the Unit Studies Approach, Waldorf Education method and The Principle Approach.

Once you find a method that resonates with you, you can research the countless curriculum options for that method (or curate your own as with the eclectic approach, or throw caution to the wind and go academically “naked” as with the unschooling approach).

6. Observe Your Child’s Learning Style

One of the most beautiful things about homeschooling your children is that you know them better than anyone, and are better equipped to meet their needs. As you embark on your homeschool journey, get to know your child’s personality, strengths and weaknesses, and their dominant learning style. Some children are visual processors, learning best by seeing, while others are auditory processors who learn by listening. Other children do best by doing/touching/feeling. Notice what styles of learning work best for you and your family, and tailor more of your future lessons to those methods of learning.

7. Tap Into Your Local Homeschool Community

“It takes a village to raise a child.” Never has this saying been more necessary or more true than in the life of a homeschool family. As with anything else, homeschooling can get lonely without outside support and community. The good news is, the internet is rapidly changing common misconceptions about homeschool socialization, and creating more connections amongst homeschool communities than ever before.

Search online for homeschool groups in your local area. Facebook and Meetup.com can be wonderful community platforms, as well as local homeschooling co-ops, 4-H groups, girl/boy scouts, park district activities, and countless “homeschool-specific” programs through local zoos, theaters, dance academies, rollerskating rinks, state parks, and countless other venues.

As you’re starting out, homeschool groups can be extremely helpful in offering guidance and support. Once you’re more established, they can provide a beautiful sense of community, connection and delight.

8. Curate Your Homescool Inspiration

As Zig Ziglar famously said, “”People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”

A motivated, inspired parent is the key ingredient to successful homeschooling, and with the internet at your fingertips, homeschooling inspiration is literally endless!

Take some time to get EXCITED and motivate yourself with ideas from other homeschool families around the world. Curate your own homeschool inspiration collection by using apps such as Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook. You can create brand new accounts to keep all your homeschool items in an organized, easy-to-find place.

Start out by searching topics you’re interested in, such as how to design your homeschool room, ideas for specific studies/projects, science experiments, book list recommendations, games and activities, and so much more! A robust homeschool inspiration collection can really come in handy when you’re planning your schooling for the week and are looking for some exciting ideas.

9. Get Really, Really Comfortable With Adjusting Course

One of the greatest keys to successful homeschooling is FLEXIBILITY / ADAPTABILITY. Of course homeschool parents would love for every day to go smoothly, exactly according to plan — but the truth is, this just isn’t realistic (in fact, it probably happens a lot LESS than you might think!). The beauty of homeschool is that you can continually observe your family’s needs and adjust your plan accordingly. This process of “adjusting” becomes one of the most important roles of a homeschool parent, and it can prove to be both liberating and frustrating.

We have to remember that our homeschool life and goals are living, breathing, moving targets. It may take months or even years to feel like you’ve found your “groove” with homeschooling, and just when you think you’ve got it, it can change at the drop of a hat as you and your family continue to learn, grow, change and evolve.

If you’re like the majority of homeschool parents, how you feel about homeschooling is going to change dramatically from one week to another. You will likely question your decision to homeschool and re-evaluate your options constantly. You’ll experience feelings of doubt, insecurity, uncertainty and defeat. But in the end, none of these things will compare to the profound, life changing rewards that homeschool offers your family each and every day. Remember it’s a constant journey, not a destination, and how well you navigate the path (and how willing you are to adjust your course) will make all the difference.

10. Don’t Overthink It, Just Dive In!

When it comes to making the decision to start homeschooling, it really comes down to listening to your heart. The conditions to begin will almost never be perfect, and you will be guaranteed to meet many difficulties and challenges along the way. Still, if homeschooling is something you’re truly passionate about exploring, the rewards will always outnumber the obstacles, and the journey will be well worth the effort.

11. Remember You Are Enough

As this month’s parenting affirmations remind us, your children don’t want “perfect,” they just want you. Just by being their parent, you are their best and most perfect teacher — with or without all the fancy curriculums, gadgets, and best-laid plans. Trust yourself, even when you feel uncertain. Believe in yourself, even when you feel doubtful. Be gentle and patient, even when you might be feeling overwhelmed and afraid. And always remember, you are good enough exactly as you are (and so are your children)!

Homeschooling will provide you the opportunity to enjoy, honor and cherish the time you are given, and help your children understand that each day, they are not only building their education… they are building their LIVES.

So what do you think? Are you ready to dive in and start your homeschooling journey?

Leave your comments, questions, hopes and dreams for us in the comments below!

Lifebook Loves: The Enneagram with Dr. Judith Swack
29Jun 2018
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Written by Jon and Missy Butcher

During the early years of our relationship, Missy and I had the honor of working with a truly brilliant expert that we’d like to introduce to you today…

Her name is Judith Swack, and she’s one of the world’s leading experts on the science of the Enneagram.

Over the years, Judith’s wisdom has helped us to understand our personality structures and relationship dynamics at a profoundly deep level. As a result, we experience greater consciousness, understanding, compassion and growth — both as individuals and as a couple.

So many of our members ask us HOW we’ve used the Enneagram to increase our self-awareness and improve our lives. And the answer is, “We learned from the best!”

Click below to listen to a special Lifebook Podcast episode with Dr. Judith Swack, as she explores the power of the Enneagram.

Click here to learn more about Dr. Judith and her life-changing programs.

And if you’re interested in learning more, be sure to click the link at the bottom of the post.

We hope you receive as much wisdom as we have from this ancient tool!

With all our love,


82 Affirmations for Lasting Love and Romance
26Jun 2018
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Looking to create more LOVE in your life?

Here are some mantras to meditate on each day to increase the connection, romance, and LOVE in your life.

Affirmations for SEEKING LOVE

  1. My heart is open and ready for extraordinary love
  2. The more I love myself, the more love I have to share with others
  3. I deserve all the love, romance and joy that life has to offer
  4. I have created space in my life for my soul mate
  5. The time has come to be with my ideal love partner
  6. I radiate pure, unconditional love to the one who is on their way into my life
  7. I am already deeply connected to the one I will love
  8. The person I love is also seeking me
  9. I am an attractive person
  10. More…

Experience Lifebook Online For FREE!
20Jun 2018

Experience the online version of Jon Butcher’s renowned Lifebook Seminar for just $500 — and get 100% of your money back when you complete the program.

If you’d like to learn more about this extraordinary experience, and how you can join us for free, listen to the podcast episode below…

To learn more and sign up today, click here!

56 Amazing Spiritual Memes to Put a Huge Smile on Your Face
19Jun 2018

What a wondrous time we live in…

We have access to infinite information, on any subject, at lightning speed in the palm of our hands.

This has inevitably affected the current generation of Earth’s youth in ways both positive and negative.

Yet while our new millennial culture is so often criticized and not taken seriously, they have made one undeniable positive contribution to the world…

MEMES — the humorous, uplifting, and sometimes completely ridiculous images that convey a relatable (and oftentimes hilarious) truth about the world, and spread like wildfire across the internet.


In this post we share 56 undeniably AWESOME spiritual memes that are guaranteed to put a huge smile on your face.

Here we go… More…