BlogEmotional Life
The Discipline of Inner Peace
15Apr 2013
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Written by: Missy Butcher

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a deep desire to remain solid, grounded and solution-oriented, no matter what life brings my way. It’s always been very important to me not lose my footing, fly off the handle, or spin out of control when unforeseen problems or intense emotions arise.

It turns out that Inner peace is the foundation for my Emotional Life.

Here’s what inner peace means to me:

Inner peace means experiencing feelings of harmony, tranquility, happiness, goodness, self-love, and groundedness on a consistence basis.

Inner peace entails a deep trust in myself, and the world around me. It’s based in the belief that I live in a benevolent universe, and that things will mostly tend to go my way.

And it represents the profound knowledge that when things don’t go my way, I will make the choices, I will take the actions, and I will use the words that add up to the person that I am, and always strive to be.

How do I create the experience of inner peace?

Creating inner peace is truly an internal balancing act, because there are so many different elements at play, and they must all work together…

There are many ingredients that make up my recipe for inner peace, but here are a few of the most essential

My Recipe For Inner Peace

Discipline

I’ve discovered over the years that, more than anything else, inner peace requires something quite unexpected… Self discipline.

Discipline is the fundamental building block of inner piece, because it’s the foundation for everything else.

It takes discipline to keep my emotions in check and balanced in the face of intense situations and unforeseen circumstances. It takes discipline to remain grounded and think clearly in the face of adversity, so I can make good choices. It takes discipline to live a happy, healthy successful life, and to create that experience for myself and my loved ones, everyday.

Clarity

Keeping my thoughts rational, clean and reality based is absolutely essential for me to experience inner peace.

I’ve always imagined the analogy of a window… If it’s cloudy, dirty or broken, it’s hard to see what’s really on the other side. The same is true for the way I see the world. I must keep my window open and clean to ensure that I have as much real information as possible, so that I can guide my life intelligently.

You can see how important the role of discipline is here. It’s easy to indulge in an emotional outburst and fly off the handle when a crisis arises. It’s much more difficult to choose clear-mindedness, stability and inner peace.

Positivity

Viewing the world through a positive framework is one of my secrets to inner peace.

Believing in goodness, expecting that things will turn out well, and having a positive orientation towards everything in my life creates the fertile ground for inner peace.

This orientation, of course, can be seriously challenged with roadblocks and intense or ugly situations. But when they come up, as the inevitably will, I always remind myself that there is good in everything… The challenge is to find the good, even in the face of the most trying circumstances imaginable.

Again, discipline is key here. It’s easy to indulge in negativity. It’s easy to be judgmental, find faults and point out flaws. It takes a lot more effort to look for the good in a seemingly bad situation than it does to wallow in negativity.

Integrity

I must always be true to who I am and what I deeply believe, especially during trying times.

This is fundamental, and inner peace cannot be realized unless this piece is in play. What I think, what I say and what I do are all just different expressions of who I am, and they must all be aligned or I cannot have feelings of harmony, stability, goodness and self trust. Lack of integrity causes turbulence inside, and that is the opposite of inner peace.

Integrity not only entails knowing who I am and what I’m all about (thank you Lifebook!), but it also takes a great deal of discipline. To stay true to myself and what I believe in takes constant vigilance, especially when faced with challenging situations.

Persistence & Endurance

We all know that things aren’t always easy or lovely. Life is complicated, and sometimes, difficult situations arise that are tough to figure out.

But no matter how complicated or difficult a situation might be, I know that I must never, ever give up trying to resolve it. I refuse to stop until my feeling of inner peace is restored. I’ll look under every nook and cranny… I’ll examine the situation from different angles… I’ll do whatever it takes to make it good.

I always believe, in the depths of my soul, that I CAN figure this out, I WILL find the good, and that there IS a solution that will make things even better than before.

It takes discipline to be persistent and remain committed to our own happiness, especially when we’re worn out…. To keep pushing on, even when we don’t want to. When things gets tough, I just remind myself… An extraordinary life isn’t especially easy to create, and it will never come to the faint of heart. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it!

Gratitude & Appreciation

One can never, ever have too much gratitude. Anytime I am having trouble in any area of my life, no matter what the category, I can immediately become grounded & centered when I think about things I am grateful for in my life. It’s like a magic spell…

It’s impossible for me to hold any useless negative emotions or thoughts in my mind or body at the same time that I am actively being and feeling grateful and appreciative.

This little trick gets me back on track in a moment to the daily consistent discipline of creating inner peace.

Presence & Enjoyment

This is possibly the most important ingredient of all! Life is meant to be enjoyed and living life means reallybeing here, and experiencing the moments of it.

My life is made up of years, months, weeks and days. And my days are made up of hours and moments. These moments are my life. As I experience them, I create them, and they in turn define me.

This very moment is everything. Being present and enjoying the moments of my life, both the good and the bad, is the path of inner peace. It reminds me that life is short, and I must enjoy it and make the most of every precious moment I have on this planet.

Acceptance

Acceptance, of myself, others, and circumstances, is key in creating self-love and feelings of tranquility.

Self-acceptance gives way for compassion, self-confidence, and self-trust.

Acceptance of others and circumstances helps me remember that I do not have control over everything that comes my way, but I do have control in how I decide to deal with it.

Patience

Patience gives me the power to deal with the reality of a situation positively and productively, and gives me time to gather all the information I need to make the best possible choice.

Patience also provides me with feelings of goodness and stability. Both patience and acceptance deeply support clarity.

 

Now that I’ve shared some of my elements to create inner peace, I would like to share some of the ingredients that can destroy it for me.

The Recipe For Inner Chaos

Self-Pity

Or anything that resembles feeling like a victim. Feelings like these render us utterly powerless.

I find that the absolute antidote for sadness, grumpiness, and self-pity, is complete gratitude and appreciation.

I simply cannot hold any of these negative emotions in my mind and body at the same time that I am actively being and feeling thankful and grateful.

The overwhelming power of positivity and gratitude has the ability to erase these negative emotions immediately.

Stress

The absolute antidote for stress, overwhelm and pressure is specific, purposeful action that speaks to and answers the exact stressful situation.

For example, if I am experiencing stress or pressure about a certain job or responsibility, the only answer is action… Take care of it.

Not only does the negative emotion disappear immediately upon handling the issue, but the reward is the feeling of satisfaction, efficacy and the creation of self-esteem.

Worry

Worry is purely a waste of time and energy, and it supports feelings of overwhelm and hopelessness. Napoleon Hill said, “nothing which life has to offer is worth the price of worry,” and this quote has become a profound part of my emotional life.

The mantra that runs through my mind in face of an obstacle is this: I can totally handle this. I can and will figure this out. I am completely capable of making this right and good.

Insecurity and Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is the enemy of inner peace and well being. It stems from the thought that I am not capable or trust-worthy, which can be incredibly harmful to my self-confidence and self-esteem.

Inner peace comes from learning to trust myself. It is created through the act of believing in my own unique intelligence, abilities and goodness.

So cultivating a sense of internal security and self-confidence is vital to the experience of inner peace..

Each of these individual elements is an incredibly powerful tool for our emotional lives, and can create enormous benefits when implemented on their own.

But when combined, the power of these ingredients together can add up to something much greater.

By applying the greatest level of discipline and commitment to the achievement of these elements, we can enable ourselves to cultivate an internal environment and create a totally new emotional experience. One that is rich in profound and lasting feelings of harmony, tranquility, happiness, goodness, self-love, and groundedness.

If you have your own “inner peace ingredients” please share them by commenting at the bottom of this article. I would love to hear from you!

Thank you so much for reading.

~M~

 

 

13 comments “The Discipline of Inner Peace”

  • edward eggleston
    April 18, 2013
    12:10 pm

    Wow! These are solid words and disciplined writing. I am personally often reaching for that ‘spiritual inner piece’ and it seems beyond my reach. Perhaps I already have inner peace and just need to accept the same.

  • Marie Mannozzi
    April 18, 2013
    12:10 pm

    this is the greatest thing i have read in my 55 years on earth and it was brought to me not only by you Missy but a higher power, god because I was recently found out I have stage 4 lung cancer VERY treatable with some wonderful state of the art medical treatments. Every morning i take time to journal and count my blessing then i see what is in my e-mail and today I found this and I plan daily to live by these wonderful words thank You are my Hero

  • John Vieceli
    April 18, 2013
    12:10 pm

    Great article Missy.

    Hard to add anything to that except maybe an action item to prevent “inner chaos.” Everyone talks about meditation but few are able to practice it for a variety of reasons. While I practice medication, I use a tactic that is even simpler and just as effective. It’s just focusing on your breathing.

    There is a plethora of information on breathing exercises and their benefits but the one I like the best is Dr. Weil’s 4-7-8 (link below). Simple and completely effective. This exercise definitely helps when the stress of the day or worry starts to creep in.

    http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/ART00521/three-breathing-exercises.html

    JV

  • Mark Richards
    April 20, 2013
    12:10 pm

    Excellent and all encompassing article Missy. Thank you.
    The one Ingredient I’d like to add to the mix is the concept of
    having someone In your life other than your spouse or significant
    other who you can turn to who understands your philosophy. So
    when you are having the kinds of enevitable challenges we will all
    face, you are not alone and can be reminded of the ideal state and
    thinking you aspire to. A side effect is you’ve shown courage by
    revealing yourself and give them the opportunity to contribute
    to you.

  • Missy Butcher
    May 3, 2013
    12:10 pm

    Thanks so much everyone for your comments and kind words.
    I’m happy to see that this was helpful and appreciated!

    Maria, wishing you all the best with your recovery. Having a beautiful and positive attitude will be one of your most powerful healing tools!

    Edward – sounds like you may already have the inner peace you seek – love your thought of recognizing it and accepting it!

    Thanks for pointing out the importance of courage Mark – sharing vulnerability isn’t always easy, but, as you’ve said, the effect is a deeper connection with your loved one.

    And my dear friend JV – thanks for weighing in here! Meditation is something I’ve not really focused on too much in my life so far, but this month I’m taking the Lifebook challenge and will be doing it every day in the month of May – I’m very excited but also a little apprehensive – not knowing exactly what to expect… thanks for the link – that will be very helpful.
    btw… When did you switch from practicing meditation to practicing medication? And what does that look on a daily basis? 😉

    Thanks again everyone for all your wonderful thoughts and have a fantastic day!
    :) ~M~

  • Michael Pinter
    May 21, 2013
    12:10 pm

    Excellent! These are fantastic words. I just shared them with my wife.

  • Peter Scott
    May 23, 2013
    12:10 pm

    Wow Missy, thanks for sharing this recipe! It gives me a framework for my own emotional recipes that I can add to my Lifebook.

    Much appreciated!

    Peter

  • Tammy Nicklas
    October 15, 2013
    12:10 pm

    So beautifully written. Thanks for taking the time to write it all down and the willingness to share it with the world.

    We think of you often so it was extremely fun to stumble across Lifebook on Linkedin this morning and be led to this piece.

    With Love & Gratitude,
    Tammy (& Ricky) Nicklas

  • Joan Chambers
    April 22, 2014
    12:10 pm

    Missy, I thoroughly enjoyed and agree with you. Your blog was very well written, and helpful. After the family strife I have endured, along with my husband and four sons, it is good to read this. I realize that I already do some of the things you talk about, but others are not so easy. My response to stress has been to try to find a way to make things better. I feel that I have succeeded in that score; when my son was sentenced to prison, his sentence was much lighter than several others in the courtroom that day. We had done a letter writing campaign to the judge. When he got out, he was fully supported by our family, and now he is happily married to a wonderful girl and they have 2 great children! I have to admit that at times I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but in the end it paid off.

  • Ken Coscia
    October 16, 2014
    12:10 pm

    Missy, Thank you for sharing such a simple recipe with such profound impact.
    I appreciate deeply your words of wisdom.

    With love & appreciation,
    Ken

  • Kyle Ee
    October 16, 2014
    12:10 pm

    Thank you, Missy. I really needed to read these words today. <3

  • Karen
    February 1, 2015
    12:10 pm

    Great narrative Missy! Thanks for sharing

  • matthew snyde
    September 26, 2015
    12:10 pm

    The most said in knowledge and pratcie. Thank you for all your months and years of service. You have gifts abound.

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